Unbreakable
“It is the most important project that I will ever release.” - Sjana Rut
You Will Never Have Me
You Will Never Have Me is the opening track on Unbreakable, but it also serves as a transition between the Broken and Unbreakable world. You Will Never Have Me is the sequel to the last track on the Broken album, titled The Beginning Of The End.
“The song is about no matter how much someone may try to break me, they will never have me or break my soul or spirit.”
Look at Me
Look at Me, the second track on Unbreakable, is written about idolising someone who isn’t who you thought they were.
“I wrote the song about someone I looked up to and admired for years as a child, someone I had immense respect for. I had nothing but love for them. But that image I had created of them growing up broke once they showed me their true colours. It’s easier to look up to someone when you’re a child, because of your innocence you don’t see through the veil. This person sided with my abuser and did everything they could to break me down, and in this song, I am proving that despite all of it, I am rising. I realised that I don’t need them anymore and that I only needed to believe in myself.”
The Flame
The third track on the album titled, The Flame, is the first track that truly pulls you away from the Broken atmosphere and into the Unbreakable world, while the two previous tracks served as more of a transition between the two albums. The song tells the tale of someone who’s being guided through the dark and into the light, it's about strength and not giving up.
“It's a song I wrote to myself, I’m guiding myself through the void and encouraging myself to keep going, I encourage the listener to do the same.”
Golden
Golden is about transformation, being reborn, or rising up in a metaphorical sense.
Finally stepping into your power and healing your wounds.
Oh Yeah?
Oh Yeah? is about confrontation and standing up for yourself.
“I’m confronting my abuser and saying things exactly how they are, there’s no sugarcoating.”
Liar Liar
Lies will always backfire, that’s exactly what this track is warning the liar about.
“The lyrics to Liar Liar kept changing throughout the process of this album. I wrote the song prior to working on the Unbreakable album, and the song was originally aimed at a different situation unrelated to this saga. However I liked the attitude of the song so much that I re-wrote some of the lyrics and instead said things I do not say on other tracks. I knew this song had a lot of attitude and so I decided to go towards a more rock sound to enhance the message of it. Although I wasn’t planning for it to sound so metal- but I love it. The song became much more energetic as a result.”
Boomerang
Boomerang is the sequel to Liar Liar, except now sh*t has hit the fan.
“This song offers quite a bit of humour and relief, as it serves as an outlet. Rather than being frustrated with people's bizarre behaviour, I couldn’t help but laugh at it all. I couldn’t believe how incredibly stupid their actions were because it only backfired and affected them, they are the ones who dug their own graves. So I just decided to enjoy the show and have some fun with it, and so this song was born.”
I Don’t Have Time for This
The eighth track on this album is titled I Don’t Have Time for This. The song’s about immature individuals that speak down to others and try to sabotage their lives, thinking they are the righteous ones and that they will gain something from it when in reality they’re just chasing the clouds of the cliff.
“This song is a continuation of Boomerang, except now I no longer find their behaviour entertaining and so I decide to focus on myself, my time is too valuable. I don’t have time for their sh*t.”
Empty Words
Empty Words describes the circumstances when you are waiting for someone to admit their crimes and lies that have immensely impacted your life and scarred you. They let other people believe that they’ve tried to make amends, only to make themselves look good.
“All I wanted for the longest time was acknowledgment from my abuser of his crimes and that’s all he had to do, but he showed it through his actions, his selfish behaviour, and communication that it would never happen. And so I realised that I could live without his validation because it was my choice, not his, for me to live on.”
Mr. Know It All
Mr. Know It All is written about someone who thinks they’re always right, they’re full of themselves.
“In the song I’m wishing him well and hope he does something about his behaviour and issues, but of course he doesn't see it that way. He views himself as the victim and thinks that me being honest and empathetic is somehow trying to belittle him, because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong. I’m also telling him that I won’t go down to his level and that I hope they do better.”
Know My Worth
Know My Worth is about showing yourself love and kindness.
“A track on the previous album Broken, titled Breaking My Heart, is about how I’m breaking myself down. Know My Worth is the other side of that song, except now I’m turning the page around. I’m learning to love the parts of me that I cannot change, learning to be kinder to myself, and proving to myself that I deserve better and that I’m worth the effort. I’m not a reflection of my trauma, I’m not defined by it.”
As I Am
As I Am, the twelfth track on the album, is written about supportive and loving individuals.
“Whereas most songs have been aimed at the people that traumatised or abused me, this song is an oath to the people that stood by me and had my back throughout the years. It’s easier to get caught up in self-pity and focus solely on the people that weren’t there for you or hurt you but we have to remind ourselves of the people who have been there for us, even the ones who couldn’t show us all the support that we wanted or needed, they still tried their best, at least to the best of their ability. I wrote this song specifically to the small yet strong group of people that have always been there for me and have never left my side. They’ve encouraged me to keep going and have also helped me grow in so many ways.”
Unbreakable
Unbreakable, the title song is about strength and confidence.
“I wrote this song at a time when I needed to remind myself of who I was and of my strength and confidence, at a time when I needed it the most. The song isn’t about the abuse itself, but rather that no matter what was thrown my way or said about me, it would never break me or change who I am.”
Stockholm Syndrome
Stockholm Syndrome is an unofficial term for a coping mechanism that is often developed in a captive or abusive situation. People develop positive feelings and oftentimes become empathetic towards the abuser over time. Some people are aware that they are being abused, and others are not. This condition applies to various situations including child abuse.
“I never believed that what the abuser did to me was in any way normal or okay but because this was someone so close to me I felt very empathetic towards him over time. I believed that if I ever spoke up, it would be unfair to him to be punished for something “minor”. In my eyes he just made a mistake and probably felt horrible for it, I viewed him as the victim. With time I began minimising the abuse in my head and convincing myself that it didn’t happen the way it did or that it wasn’t really abused, it was a way for me to cope, I didn’t want to see someone I loved as an abuser. The song Stockholm Syndrome is a light way to deal with a heavy subject matter, the song is a humorous way to vent about very messed up and difficult situations.”
I Hope You’ve Changed
This track is about coping with bittersweet memories.
“At the time I wrote this song a part of me was yearning for change from one of my abusers and the circumstances surrounding me, even though I knew it would never happen. I was holding on to childhood memories with this person and hoping they’d change in order for me to be able to relive those nostalgic memories. But that’s all they were, nostalgic memories. They were a part of the past and are supposed to stay there.”
Words I’ll Never Say Out Loud
The second last track of this saga titled Words I’ll Never Say Out Loud is a delicate yet powerful anthem for abuse victims.
“The song starts off as a page from my diary that wasn’t supposed to be read by anyone but myself, even in the chorus of the song I mention that I only wrote those words down for myself and that I will never say any of it out loud for anyone to hear. The song is an expression of my turmoil thoughts and feelings, feelings that were buried deep down and had been simmering there for years. As the song progresses it builds up in emotion until it explodes and the truth unfolds. I admit that I have finally said all those ‘scary’ words out loud and I encourage others to do the same.”
Farewell
Farewell, the last track on Unbreakable, and the ending to this saga, is one of the more vulnerable songs on the Unbreakable album.
“It’s a goodbye letter to my abuser, very fitting as the last song on the album. A personal song aimed toward the family member that abused me, but in a way I’m also saying goodbye to other individuals and circumstances. It’s a way for me to move on, but the song has a bittersweet tone to it as well. Forgiveness isn’t easy but it’s necessary to be able to move on.”