Broken
“Each song has its own story” - Sjana Rut
Playing in the Snow
Playing in the Snow is the opening track on Broken. It’s written in third person, from an outsider watching the events taking place. Almost as if you’re opening a book and the storyteller introduces, and sets the scene for you. This song describes the innocence of a child, hence using the snow as a metaphor for innocence and purity. It then takes a dark turn as the story progresses, you get a sense of something unfortunate is about to happen.
Bloody Waters
Bloody Waters is the sequel to Playing in the Snow, where the course of events has taken a dark turn into a heavy swirl of cinematic strings and haunting lyrics. Bloody Waters metaphorically describes the abuse, as well as touching on the subject itself of child sexual abuse and how it is such a big and deep rooted problem, yet so well hidden. It describes the unfair and ugly truth, that a lot of victims, especially children, never get to tell their stories - their truth doesn't reach the surface.
Uneasy
Uneasy is the third track on the album. As the title may suggest, it describes the tense and uneasy feeling of being around the perpetrator. It also describes real conversations that the artist had with the abuser, where the offender is trying to manipulate their victims feelings.
White Noise
White Noise is a spoken word poetry with a heavy cinematic atmosphere in the background. It captures the feeling of fear and self doubt. It is also the intro for the next track.
Blame
Blame is written about the heaviness of self hatred and self blaming. It is both written from the victims point of view as well as from the perspective of that hateful voice in the corner of your mind.
Broken
Broken is the title track of the album, the title of the song is self-explanatory. It’s a letter of sorts to the perpetrator, about the abuse and how it has affected the victim and how it broke them, all while grieving the innocence that has been lost.
Protect Me
Protect Me describes the coping mechanisms of a traumatised child that steps up to the adult’s ‘protector’ role. Feeling betrayed by a person that should’ve protected them, but instead took advantage of that trust. The child takes it upon him/herself to protect themselves.
Breaking My Heart
Breaking My Heart starts off stripped down and raw, and you can hear a breezy and windy environment. At first glance the song seems to be about the words and actions of someone who keeps affecting the other person, but as the song continues it’s revealed that the artist is talking about herself, that she is her own worst enemy.
The Truth
The Truth is perhaps the most upbeat song on the album. It takes you through the mind of someone who’s tired of hiding behind a smile. As Sjana points out, you never truly know what someone’s going through so you shouldn't judge them beforehand. The lyrics are directed towards the people who kept backbiting and making up stories and lies while not knowing the full story. The song is disguised as a fun, upbeat pop song with a hip-hop breakdown, when in reality the lyrics have a deeper meaning and symbolise something darker. In the same way the song is upbeat and the lyrics underline the truth, not everything is as it seems.
Close - Remastered
Close tells a story about wandering in complete darkness alone and being desperate for help and reaching out for it, not wanting to fight this battle alone but rather with someone you trust and love by your side.
Can You Hear Me?
Can You Hear Me? reflects the emotions of a victim not feeling seen or heard, while desperately screaming for help. Being pushed to the edge and driven closer to suicide by close ones. Being ignored only adds to the self-blame, hatred and loneliness, and the feeling that no one really cares. It's one of Sjana’s most personal songs.
Cold
Cold is about the perpetrator’s lack of empathy and coldness. The song sheds light on how incredibly cruel the abuser is for cleansing themselves of any blame and guilt and in return enforcing the responsibility onto the victims shoulders.
I’m Sorry It Ended This Way
I’m Sorry It Ended This Way is about a mix of complex emotions that a lot of victims go through after being abused by someone close to them. It’s about the sorrow and pain of things not working out like you wanted it to, and feeling regret and guilt for a situation you’re not responsible for.
Liberation
Liberation is about the painful truth, but in that pain you may find clarity if you’re willing to let go of all the anger and hurt, because it doesn't benefit you.
Instead focus solely on working on yourself and not give any attention or energy to the people or the things that hurt you.
Heal
In Heal Sjana confronts her abuser and puts her focus into healing and mending the scars after all the trauma. This song is the start of the realisations of many things, one of them being that she is beginning to see through the abuser's fake act and their fragile big ego.
To Little Me
To Little Me is about returning the responsibility to one's it belongs, and saying goodbye to your past self. To Little Me is a conversation that I had in my head with my younger self. That little girl was trying to reach out to me and speak out and only then did I realise how much I had failed her. I blamed her, an innocent child for things that happened to her, but it was never her fault. She couldn't possibly have known what was going to happen to her. I forced her to stay silent, ignored her feelings and pushed her away because I hated her. This was perhaps the most difficult and emotional song for me to write on the album.
The Beginning of the End
The Beginning of the End is the end of this chapter but the beginning of a new one. In the beginning of the song you can hear distant battle sounds but as soon as you can hear Sjana’s vocals, everything gets quiet, symbolising that the battle is over. The symbolic meaning of the song is that the battle is now over and Sjana is standing in the middle of the battleground and looking at the carnage as she picks herself up and walks through the battlefield – and she encourages the listener to do the same.